But still. I’ve been thinking. Thinking about how we spend all day talking to technology instead of each other. Thinking about how a lot of us had parents that struggled with being absent during the years that formed us into who we are today. We raised each other and ourselves, and I worry sometimes that we’ve lost out on some incredibly fundamental knowledge about how to live our lives. More importantly, I think perhaps we have spent so much time typing and texting to one another, changing our profile pictures and making ourselves look better on LinkedIn and Facebook, that we have become an unbelievably self-focused generation of people. Society tells us to be this way and then provides a million different venues in which we are able to follow through with this ideal.
I am afraid of becoming one of those people who is so concerned about how others perceive me that I completely forget the point of life itself. The point is to love God, and to love one another. It is so simple. But that idea– the concept of loving God and loving others, whole-heartedly, doesn’t make sense unless I’m actually doing so. When I’m not, I become frantic in my search for self-worth and approval from others. To tell you the truth, I clam up and climb into myself and stop functioning all together. I stop living how I was created to live.
We are created to love each other. To build each other up. To share things and look in each other’s eyes and be honest and be trustworthy. To love authentically. And authentic love has nothing to do with yourself.
Am I the only one who struggles with living on a conveyor belt that is constantly moving towards self-destructive constant self-focus? I don’t think so. I think we all do, and I also truly believe that it is the cause of some of the greatest pain on this earth.
Jesus talks a lot about how you have to lose your life in order to find your life. He was just… He was just right.
I believe that Jesus was the Savior of the universe because He has the words that spoke directly the hearts of the men and women, not just in His day, but in every generation that has sprung up since. Our basic needs and worries and struggles are still there, and Jesus used a magnifying glass and a microphone and alerted humanity that in order to have joy, peace, and love, we had to have faith in a God who is asking us to turn away from ourselves and our ways. He wanted us to see that in fact, we are completely worthless, but we have worth in His eyes, and that’s all that matters. This should define us and fill our hearts to the brim everyday–the Creator of the Universe is madly in love with His creation. Even now, I can hear the prideful side of my heart pointing out things I must have done to deserve this love. What glorious relief I find in the fact that this is not the truth.
Jesus knew me when He spoke the words that appear in the Gospels. He still knows me. He speaks to me and tells me how to fix my life and how to deal with the problems that would inevitably appear in the future. But like so many things that are good and true and right and healthy, I feel my soul recoil at times in a desire to hibernate and stare at a mirror instead.
And there is no joy in this.
24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?
It doesn’t make any sense until you start living it. Or start again, living it.
Have a beautiful Wednesday.